Thursday, May 13, 2010

Taking Time for Yourself as a Mom

So as Mother's Day has come and gone I got to thinking...when do mother's take time for themselves? I have watched my own mom put her own needs WAY behind the needs of me and my 6 siblings. She has totally devoted herself to her kids and taking care of us. She has made many sacrifices to be able to stay home and take care of us as we have grown. Now, as a mother myself, I can see all of those sacrifices that she still continues to make. And I can see that she hardly EVER took time for herself. I am sad to admit, but I'm not like that(but, I also only have 1 child so that makes a difference). I know that I'm a better mom/wife when I am able to do a little something for myself, whether it be read a book, hang out with friends, or go shopping(which might be my favorite).

So, my questions to you are:

-What do you like to do when you are able to have "me" time?
-When was the last time you did something for yourself??
-How do you make that time for yourself when taking care of a husband and/or children?

P.S. I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day!!!


Jessie said...

I definitely need "me" time, too. I come back refreshed, and more ready to love on my family. I get very frustrated if I don't have a chance to get out occasionally, and my husband knows this, so he is also very supportive of me having a little time to myself, which is very fortunate for me. I generally get out once a week, maybe once every two weeks.

To answer your questions directly--

1. For what I do when I get out--I have a really great group of friends in my area who regularly have things going on, be it book club, bunco night, or all kinds of other classes (quilting, gardening, cooking, etc). I love to go hang out with these women whenever I get the chance, and always enjoy my time with them, and often learn something new. If I just need a little break, sometimes I'll go out and work in my garden (I really do love this), or I'll sew something--anything that has an end result that the kids can't destroy in a matter of minutes. :) If I need some alone time and can't leave the house (like when my husband is gone), I often will just take a nice long hot bath and read while in the tub. Or watch a show on Hulu, or take a nap. Anything to get my mind out of my house duties, you know?

2. I think the last time I got out by myself was actually a couple weeks ago, just because we've been super busy the last little while. I went to a book club (that was actually held at my house, but my hubby took the kids away). Next planned outing--tonight! I'm so excited for a fun bunco night. :)

3. My husband and I each make time for the other one to have some time out--my husband is heavily involved with a few programmers groups in the area, and meets with them a couple times a month--this is enough time out for him. In return, he makes time to be home with the kids, and is willing to take care of them so I can have time for myself, too. I am a very lucky woman to have such a great husband who is so willing to let me do what I need, I know.

Tannie Datwyler said...

I LOVE this Kym - we all need time out.

I think that I am SO good at getting out of the house and going places.... but usually it is for playdates and I still have the kids with me. I am also really good at going on dates with my husband. We have two different babysitting trades - one for date nights and one for temple nights. So at least twice a month I go out with my husband without the kids.

But as for getting out alone... that's a little hard, but I STILL do it!

So to answer your questions.

1 - When I have "me" time it is usually going to Enrichment, or Book Club (both of which I totally love). Or even visiting teaching. But sometimes it's something more exciting like getting together with a girlfriend to watch a movie, or going out to do something special alone. (I have a FREE spa pedicure I won a few weeks ago and I STILL need to use it). As much as I love book club and enrichment, I think that it is important to choose something COMPLETELY different to get me out of the house. That's the most refreshing.

2 - The last time I got out and did something for myself..... HMMMMMM, I can't remember because I missed Book Club last month and Enrichment this month was a Ward Activity instead. I guess it's been a while. SHEESH - maybe that's why I've been so uptight with the kidos!! I guess I did go visiting teaching last night and that was great. But not the same as a special treat out. I think then the last time was when I went to my friend's house and we watched a movie and ate junk. Simple, but SO FUN.

3 - Really, when I have alone time for me, it is my husband who watches the kids - he's the best! But if your husband is busy, then another idea could be to put your kids to bed and then invite girlfriends over to your place and watch a movie or play a game.

Thanks Kym - I can't wait to see everyone's ideas.

Delia said...

Maybe I am not as a self sacrificing mom but my creative pursuits feed me and I pursue them almost everyday. I don't even think about it. I just do them here and there, at nap and after bed - if I am not hanging out with my husband at night that is. Getting out and socializing with other women though...not much. That requires a babysitter or a husband that can stay home and I don't always have that. I do get out with my kids and other moms but that is not the same I agree.

To keep things balanced at home I make lists, lots of them. So when I get a moment to myself I don't waste it in front of the TV, I go do that thing I wrote down and have been looking forward to. That way I have time to do what I like but I don't (most of the time) let it take me away from my kids and husband.

Hope any of this made any sense. I kind of wonder myself. :)