Lately I've been feeling depressed about my weight. It's not that I think that I am HUGE or anything, it's just that I weigh 20 lbs more than I did a year ago.
My baby girl was born just 4 months ago, so OF COURSE I don't expect to be back down to my normal size and weight yet. This is my third baby and it seems like it gets harder to lose weight the more children you have. With my first all the weight came off by the time my baby was 6 weeks old, with NO effort on my part. With my second I carried around 10 lbs for a year and a half before I finally did some dieting and got it off.
This time around I accepted the fact that I would most likely have extra weight for a while. I had 15 lbs to lose when my baby was 2 months old. I didn't worry too much though because I had started working out and I knew that worse-case scenario I could diet after I weaned my baby at a year.
Then A LOT happened all at once. I first lost my milk supply (due most likely to working out TOO hard) thus ending my short lived work-out spree. I have decided not to work out until my baby is weaned because I don't want to go through losing my milk supply again. Although I was able to build it back up... things still aren't the same - I still battle with a dysfunctional let-down.
A few days after I lost my milk supply I got very ill. Extremely ill. I developed some type of low blood sugar issue which makes me feel like I have to eat every couple of hours. If I don't, I feel so weak and sick. I now find myself eating A LOT - and as a result I've gained 5 more pounds. I am feeling a bit better, but still have to eat a lot.
My health condition and the fact that I'm nursing make it impossible to work out or diet right now. I'm hopeful that with time my hunger spree will end and when my baby is weaned I can get back to normal, but that's a long time in the future.
So, my question is not how do I lose weight (I know how to do that) my question is, how do I deal with the fact that I simply cannot have the body I want right now? I find myself feeling very depressed about it. I know 20 lbs isn't a lot, but it is hard because my clothes don't fit and I don't like the way I look right now. I don't have money for a new wardrobe either, so that makes it even more depressing to get dressed every day.
We've all had babies and suffered from having more weight that we want at some point. So give me your pointers. I just need some way to feel okay about this while it's out of my control.