Friday, April 29, 2011

Friday Funnies: Guest Post #1

Welcome to Friday Funnies. Today we have our first guest post by a reader. Check out these hilarious things her kids are up to.

Our reader wished to remain anonymous, but just for your information (so the stories make more sense) her little girl is 5 and her little boy is 2.

Hide and Go Seek:
I wish I had a picture of this. The other day, we were playing a memorable game of hide-and-seek. I was counting and my daughter was hiding. I love playing with my daughter AND my son because it makes it so easy to find my daughter. Once I finished counting, I walked down the hall to find my son laying flat on the floor with his head "hidden" under my daughter's bed. BINGO! Any guesses where she was hiding? Yep, right under the bed.

Next it was my daughter's turn to count. She started counting as fast as she could. Usually we count to 20, so I told her she had to slow down so I had time to hide. She informed me she would just count as high as she could. I got into my hiding place and listened to her pass 40, (which is where I thought she would stop) 50, 60 and start into the 70's. This is what I heard in the 70's. "71, 71, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, . . ." long pause, and finally, "70, 71, 72, 73 . . ." At that point, I called out, "Just come find me!" But I was sure giggling.

Learning to drive:
Last summer, my daughter and I were preparing to do errands. We were loaded into the car and my son smelled pretty rank. So, I left her in the car while I ran in to change the diaper. The car was off, but I left the keys in the ignition and I had it in gear without the emergency brake pulled up. (It's a standard transmission, so holding it in gear while parked keeps it from rolling.) While I was in the house, she decided she wanted to pretend to drive. She climbed into the driver's seat and pulled on the gearshift popping the car into neutral. It started to roll backward and she started to yell. When my daughter is playing she's scared, she screams. But when she's REALLY scared, she yells really, really loud. I heard her and ran outside to find the car rolling into the street. I opened the door and pulled up the emergency brake to stop it. It didn't crash into anything, but we were both pretty shaken up.

Fast forward to last week: As we were driving to preschool, my daughter commented how neat it would be if she had her very own car just her size to drive around all by herself. I said, "How would you know how to drive?"

That got her thinking. "I don't know. When did you learn to drive?"

"When I was 15, I went to a special class to learn."

"Oh, well I probably don't need to wait that long. After all, I already know how to back up." She said it so casually and it brought back all the memories of last summer. I couldn't help but laugh.

Better out than in:
I don't know if we eat a lot of fiber or what, but my kids are kind of gassy. When one of them fluffs, we just laugh, act shocked, and then say "excuse me." Sometimes I can't tell if it is my daughter or my son because they are sitting and playing together so I'll say, "Was that you?" to whoever I thought it was. Today, we were in my daughter's room getting dressed and my son let a big one rip. We both stared at him--it was REALLY loud! He looked up with a twinkle in his eye and asked sweetly, "That you?" Then he smiled and said "excuse me." My daughter and I just cracked up. Was that his first attempt at a joke? Not sure, but it sure was funny!

The girls in our family like to shop. It's no secret. My daughter is taking after them. Today she pulled out a store ad magazine our of the recycling box and started looking through it. "Mom! I found something you want to buy me!" She proceeded to show me 5 pages worth of merchandise ranging from jewelry, to purses, to shoes, to toys. Oh, if I had a million dollars, that beautiful girl might just be the most spoiled kid in the world! I guess it's a good thing we don't have two nickels to rub together.

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