Sunday, January 23, 2011

Reader Requests 2011 - Post 1

We have an AWESOME Reader Request this week written by one of our followers. She asks a GREAT question and then gives some ideas!! Share yours as well and keep those RR coming!

"We've talked about what to do when your kids are driving you crazy, but what about when you are the crazy one? I am fortunate to be mom to two of the most easy going, adorable boys a mom could ask for (2 years and 2 months). They each certainly have their moments, but I realized that sometimes I'll say that my kids are driving me crazy, but in all honesty, I'm the one having a moment. What do you do when you're the one who needs a "time out"?

Here are some things I've tried, but I'd love other ideas...

*Stop and assess the situation: Am I frustrated because I'm trying to do something for me when they have needs that I should be meeting? Often if I lay aside what I want to do until a better time, we're all happier - they have my full attention, I can enjoy them more and I can enjoy my activity more when they aren't needing me.

*Go to my room: sometimes I really do give myself a time out. First I make sure the kids are both in a safe place and explain that I need a break. On my good days, I think I can do this in a way that my toddler doesn't feel like he's done something wrong; but I'll admit some days need work. Sometimes he cries, but I figure it's better for him to cry while I collect myself than for me to lose my cool and feel bad (and more frustrated) when I get upset and raise my voice. Sometimes he'll even suggest the break when he can tell I'm getting frustrated! Like I said, they're good kids!

*Call my husband or, better yet, another mom friend: it helps to give perspective and have a listening ear.

*Get out of the house for a bit: go to a store, park, run an errand, visit a friend or just drive around."

Thanks for your post Tressa!! Let us know your ideas on getting a "time out" for mom.

1 comment:

The Fishes said...

At a RS conference this past weekend they were discussing just how important your heart is - especially the rhythm of your beat. I never knew that Mom's rock their babies at their heart rate and that's why some Dad's struggle to find the same soothing rhythm - but it goes into emotions as well. When your heart rate rises (or lowers) you lose the ability to think clearly. If you can bring your heart rate back to normal (80 beats per minute on average) then you will be back in rhythm and able to think about things in a calm manner again. I'm finding when I start to feel out of control, my heartrate is off - I'm hoping just knowing that will help me, music was one huge way to bring yourself back to center (uplifting music was best, the speaker even referenced that the 10 greatest love songs are all right about 80 beats per minute). They also referenced the power of touch and how great a soothing thing that can be, especially for men.

Another idea...With encouragement from my husband I'm also getting a girls night out from the kids. A friend and I are going to the temple, kind of a longer drive than in UT so we'll be staying overnight as well. Then shopping and eating out without kids for a day while husbands take care of things back home, it's important not to forget yourself in the mix of being a mother. Sorry to write a novel - it's been on my mind this past week as well :)