Friday, October 29, 2010

Requests from our Readers: Week 30

Two reader requests in a row! Thanks--keep 'em coming!

This week's question:

"I know this issue has been gone over so many times, but I am really really struggling right now and just wanted some other Mommy advice :)

I have a 4 1/2 year old little boy who is giving me a run for my money! He potty trained the week of his 3rd birthday flawlessly! He went months being amazing, during the day and night! Then the accidents started, only during the day time, then at night time only, then both, and they have yet to stop! We have good times and bad times, but right now we are having some bad times. Both "types" of accidents occurring multiple times a day, I'm at my wits end. We have tried every tactic we can think of or read about, but nothing seems to click for him for good, the accidents always come back. Right now we're starting a currency system where he can earn "money" for treats and fun things he likes to do. But I am at a loss as to "why" he doing this. No big changes have occurred, but I will be starting online courses in a couple of weeks and worry about how that will impact him. It is also impacting my 2 yr old daughter immensely. I am terrified to start potty training her because I just don't know if I can handle 2 kiddos having accidents.

I would love to hear any advice or suggestions, or even just horror stories letting me know I'm not the only one that feels they will have a school age child who isn't yet potty trained...."

So help her out!

What do you do when a child who was potty trained starts having accidents again?

Have you had a child start school without being completely potty trained? Any suggestions to avoid this?

Any tips on potty training two at a time?

And, perhaps most importantly, how do you deal with the mommy stress of potty training?


Delia said...

Oh boy. This is so tough. I have two boys. My older boy who is just a few months shy of 6 and just now doesn't have anymore accidents. I have heard of some kids going longer than that. I have a nephew who is 10 who still has issues at night. For nighttime we just put a diaper on him when it got cold at nights because that is when he would do it. It was too cold to get out of bed and/or he would sleep more deeply when it was cold and would have accidents at night then. So we just dealt with this for last winter and then this winter when he did it again a couple of times I talked to him about it and somehow convinced him not to do it. I made him carry his own sheets to the washer to be cleaned as well. I have no idea why but it worked this time. Maybe now he can understand and control better? Who knows? For accidents during the day he wouldn't want to stop watching a show or stop playing. This was more frustrating to me. I started giving him a fresh slate each morning. He could wear underwear until he soiled himself and then he would have to wear a diaper for the rest of the day. He was not fond of wearing one during the day so that nipped daytime accidents in the bud. I tried not to focus on how irritated I was at the accident and just enacted the consequence he really did not like. He figured it out on his own. But...let me say it took a few times and going out in public with a diaper for him to hate it. When he didn't care either way the first time I did it I was super discouraged but over time it worked.

So....That is what worked for us and I am still not sure what we did that really worked but... I am just glad it's behind us! :) You know your son and what will work for him. It doesn't hurt to try a few things until something clicks. For me...buying diapers for another year was just worth the money and not having to do so much laundry all the time. It also made things less irritating to me and helped me not make a big deal out of it which can worsen the problem a lot.

I did have fears that he would be in diapers forever but as you can see with us...he is diaper free at night. Good luck!

Jes said...

Im in the same boat mama! My little girl is a little over 2 years though, but has been doing GREAT potty training since January, and now -suddenly!- she's having accidents and etc again! :( Im so frustrated! I dont know what to do. Our pediatrician said a lot of times kids do this after theyve been potty trained for a while (sometimes even older children) and its because of the changes in the weather. (kinda like Delia mentioned) they said they dont know why, but its one of those funny behavioral things and not to worry because it will end. *sigh* So my fingers are crossed for sooner rather than later and Im trying to hang in there and be patient while constantly cleaning up messes again! *tear* Im hoping someone else has some good advice!!

Chris and Laura said...

I don't have personal experience with this one yet, but my mom swears by cloth diapers. Not the fancy kind they have nowadays--good ol' cloth diapers and rubber pants. It was much more uncomfortable for the child to be wearing that wet than a regular diaper, or even wet underwear. Don't rush to change them right away, and they can learn that it pays to use the toilet--none of that uncomfortable wetness. :) This worked with my brother in particular. As soon as he figured out that the only way out of the cloth diapers was by using the toilet, he switched to underwear and never looked back.

At least it's another idea to try. :)

Anonymous said...

Agree with old fashioned cloth diapers! I mean, you're going to have to do laundry anyways for wet clothes right? They're not that much work. Plus they provide intrinsic motivation!