My oldest daughter is 2 and a half, my second is 10 months. I've been noticing lately that I don't treat them the same--obviously! The problem comes in that my 2 year old is also noticing that I treat her sister differently than I do her, and she doesn't understand why.
J (2 yr old) was climbing on the car jack laying on the garage floor. I asked her to get off and when she continued to climb, she had the consequence of sitting on the porch step until she was ready to listen again. M (10 mo. old) was climbing on the car jack--I picked her up and moved her away without really saying anything. All J saw was that she got in trouble and M didn't, even though they did the same thing.
M goes to bed with a pacifier every night. J has taken to getting out of bed and taking the pacifier from M so she can have one while she goes to sleep.
M drops food on the floor from her high chair--I pick it up and throw it away. J throws food on the floor and gets in trouble and has to clean up her own mess.
Get the idea?
While I see my responses changing based on differences in age and development, J sees that she gets in trouble and M doesn't.
How do I teach the toddler why she has different consequences than her little sister?
How do I make sure that everyone feels loved while still teaching boundaries and consequences?
And for my own sanity...Any suggestions on the aforementioned pacifier situation?
Hope that made some sense! Let me know what you think.