Sunday, March 1, 2009

Under Where?

Here is a hot parenting topic: POTTY TRAINING

I personally was so ready for my then 2 1/2 year old son to be potty trained. I started it when he was not quite ready, realized that much and stopped... then really potty trained him at about 3 years a few months when he was more ready. Even then it took a few months. He is now four and is fully potty trained. I honestly didn't know if I would ever see the day that he was such a struggle. Still...he wets the bed if I don't take him to go in the middle of the night and he still has accidents every now again because he just doesn't want to stop playing - I think anyway. Case in point: yesterday I stopped into the bead store. He was playing happily in their little toy area. I looked back to check on him before I bought my stuff and he was standing in a puddle of pee. This is the little boy whom I asked if he needed to go before we left the house to which he replied no. Sigh.

All the employees were moms and were totally cool about it. One mom admitted her third grader still does the same thing. He thinks stopping to use the bathroom is an inconvenience and will still have accidents. I know some older children who wet the bed until 4th grade or even older.

With my second son I will definitely wait until it is his idea and not push the issue so much. I think that is the one piece of advice on potty training that I have heard from most moms that makes the most sense. It can become more about power struggle than actual potty training if we are not careful.

This I am sure about. It is a lot more work than you think it will be before you get started. If you think your child will never learn, just hang in there. They will...just keep plodding along and keep the bleach, vinegar, and soap (or whatever you use to clean up the messes) handy.

So let's hear from YOU.

What did you do, are you doing or what do you plan on doing for potty training? What do you use to motivate your little one and not get discouraged yourself?


Kelly Anderson said...

I am by no means an expert here and my little girl is still too young to potty train, but I know of a thing that my SIL does. You may have already tried it, but if not maybe it's worth a shot. Before her and her kids go anywhere, she has them use the bathroom. Even if they say they don't need to go, she makes them "try" and says that more often than not they end up going.

Spring said...

Aaaaah, I hate potty training. I've already potty trained child #1, and #2 and I'm not looking forward to training child #3. I checked out a bunch of books from the library, you know me, and ended up liking Potty Training for Dummies from the "Dummy" series. I gave my oldest m&m's when she went to the bathroom but I think I was creating a chocoholic :) so I switched to stickers and that worked too. :)

JeriLynn said...

I used Toilet Training in Less than a Day with Liesl, and it worked really well, for the most part. By the end of the day, she was taking herself to the toilet. The kicker was pooping, and I lost my temper really bad and ruined it. Then we had a baby and moved. Nine months later, she's still having accidents, and even if she says she's got to use the toilet, she refuses to go unless we bribe her or threaten to send her outside. I can tell she hates wet and messy pants, but she still has a hard time. Of course, I've tried a lot of tricks and methods, the sticker one working the best (we're back to that again), but I kept losing my temper, and each time that set her back and back. The last time, it finally hit me, "Oh, I'm setting her back." Duh! I know that we're on the downhill slope, but it's frustrating. I have hope that with this last effort, and no tantrums on my part (ha!), she'll be done by summer. Yikes, that's still three months away. Oh well, what's that after nine months of dirty floors! (I can't wait to rent a carpet cleaner.)

Kelly Anderson said...

Delia, you mentioned that you will not do any potty training with your second until he shows an interest and I have heard other moms say that they won't even think about it until their kids are ready, BUT my question is...How do you know when they are ready? What signs of interest do you look for?

Jared and Delia said...

I have heard experts say signs can be:

- they tell you they have gone or are going - so they recognize it.

- they have enough coordination to remove their pants and pull them up again (for the most part)

- Will wake up dry from naps.

Help me out if I am missing any ladies.

Though...I could check all these signs off with my first, he just was not ready. He struggled to stay dry. He was not motivated to use the bathroom and it became a fight. I didn't want to back track to diapers....but really he was too inconsistent. He was close to being ready and I pushed it too soon.

I want to wait until my second is almost BEGGING to use the potty. I want him to really want to use it so it doesn't become a power struggle. It will help that he has an older brother he will most likely want to follow the example of. I am banking on that for help too.

If he is in diapers until 3 1/2 or four, so be it. Diapers are less of a hassle than trying to get a kid to go potty that hasn't made it his idea yet.

Does that answer your question?

Kelly Anderson said...

Yes, thank you! :)

Ben, Shauna, Cole & ? said...

This is all great advice for me, I haven't started potty training at all yet! We've bought a potty for Cole, and I keep telling him to sit on the potty before he gets in the tub, or if he comes in the bathroom with me, when I'm going! :) I offer him to sit down on his potty, while mommy goes potty! He'll sit seriously, for 1 second, and is off the seat! So I haven't pushed it, thinking he just isn't ready! So reading this confirms, Yes, he's not ready yet! So we'll just keep trying! Any other suggestions?