Sunday, March 15, 2009
To Cry or Not to Cry?
I wasn't up to post next on "the Village," but the other ladies so graciously gave me another turn. I really need some help with the following issue. So I would appreciate it greatly if all you ingenious moms would comment and give me advice. Even if you don't want to comment I would be ever so grateful if you would at least vote on the poll on the sidebar - that will help me out a great deal. This post is not short, but you would be helping out a bewildered and sleep deprived mom a great deal if you were to bear with me and read it.
I know for a fact that the whole "cry it out" issue is something that will plague most moms at least once throughout your child rearing years. I have pondered and researched this topic for months. The pendulum swing between the two schools of though is incredible. I have read and reread many books about babies and sleep. I have vacillated from "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantly which indicates that letting your child cry it out is the worst possible thing you can do and doesn't advocate letting your child cry at all. I have read "Babywise" by Gary Ezzo which directs you to let your newborn (as in less than a week old) cry him/herself to sleep, and also encourages you to let your 2 month old cry it out if he/she wakes in the night. These two books were so extreme for me that I couldn't agree with either.
Then I read "The Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. This to me seemed to be the middle of the road philosophy. Tracy believes that letting a baby cry it out is a trust breaker, but that you can help them go back to sleep even whilst the baby cries. I thought all my questions were answered. I read her book, and I believed in her method. . . . After a month of adhering to Tracy's recommendations my son is still sleeping horribly. So now I am back to square one. I still believe Baby Whisperer works, it just didn't work for Linus for some reason.
Sorry to give such a lengthy intro, but I think it's important for you to know where I am coming from so that you can help me (and the countless other moms that are struggling with this).
More background. . . my little girl is now 2 1/2 and is a STELLAR sleeper. She slept through the night at 6 weeks. At about 6 months she started night waking and when it turned into a habit I let her cry it out. She cried for 3 nights, and then never had a problem again. It was great. . . She only ever woke up once per night though.
My son on the other hand. He is 5 months old and has rarely slept for longer than 3 hours in a row without a feeding or some other type of intervention. I have tried everything. He wakes on average 2-6 times per night. So I am nervous that the crying it out will be so horrible. If you have let your baby cry it out please see my questions below and answer them the best you can.
How old was your baby when you let him/her cry it out?
How many nights did it take?
Did you intervene at all? Or did you just let your baby cry until he/she fell asleep?
How did you feel?
How did you resist helping the baby?
Did your baby continue to night wake even after the crying it out?
If you didn't use cry it out, how else have you gotten your baby to sleep soundly?
What other advice can you give me for a baby who wakes multiple times in the night.